Grandparent photography sessions – photographing the generations
When Grandma Mary stopped, she could be found legs akimbo on a 3 legged stool practically in the fire. It was one of those old-fashioned stoves in the wall with the oven next to it and provided the only heating in her stone-cold cottage. She could knock up a batch of dropped scores in a heartbeat in that same oven. She used a long toasting fork for the toasted ‘soldiers’ which was always accompanied by freshly boiled eggs which she served every morning – a real treat. Grandma had chickens in a big old barn over the road and I got to collect the chicken eggs. I would often drop an egg in my dash to escape the human-hating ‘chuck’.
Nana, Grandma, Grannie, Ma-ma or Pops…whatever you called them, you love them.. loved them dearly.
For me, with my Grandparents, it was a time before mobile phones..before smartphones, so I have very few photos…just memories. These memories are fading and I sometimes struggle to remember their voices. I wish I had more memories on film.
They were the Grandparents from a distant generation..brought up tough where ‘being thrifty’ was a real way of life.
My Grandma (Mary) was one of them.
‘Grandma’s Stuff’
There was Grandma’s stuff’ that I only now see in antique stores. She had a Singer sewing machine, operated by foot and an old-fashioned wooden clock on the mantel, the ones where you heard every tick-tock. The large dresser that dominated the room held beautiful old ornaments of china shire horses – these are the things I remember. I loved going to Grandma’s although you went to bed quickly to avoid ice-cold temperatures in the rest of the house. It was however always pre-warmed by an extraordinarily large brown ceramic hot water bottle. The bed sheets were so tightly folded and tucked and the bedspread so heavy….you were flattened.. barely able to get into bed, nevermind turn over. But everything was accommodated..there was even a beautiful porcelain blue and white china chamber pot by the bed so you didn’t have to go downstairs to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
A time where ‘housecoats’ were worn
Grandma’s cottage was owned by the ‘Estate’ as were many of the old stone cottages in the area. Grandad had worked on the estate all his life so this was their home and long after Grandad died, this remained Grandma’s home. She lived in her blue and white gingham housecoat and yet old photos showed a different side to her life..looking smart and glamorous for the WI or a Mothers Union meeting or anyone of the organised days out on the bus with the girls.
‘She had an infectious laugh……a pure cackle’
Grandma was an old-fashioned Northumbrian Geordie and had her own language to boot. When she first met my hubby (when we were courting) we gave her a lift into Hexham for her ‘big weekly shop’. Hubby had a sporty-looking car then, Grandma asked what ‘breed it was’. Hubby was driving fast as Grandma would chortle like a schoolgirl..an infectious laugh…pure cackle’. One of those laughs that would make you smile. She would say ‘eee’, ‘well I never’ and ‘ee I’ll go to Spain’..you don’t hear those phrases anymore.
At Grandma’s, clothes repairs would happen overnight as if by magic! Both ‘ee’ and ‘well I never ‘were used when I told her that the rips in my jeans that she had just sewn up were meant to be there!
She had a huge pine tree in her garden which was next to the wall and separated us grandchildren, from the road. We’d climb the tree and hide behind that wall and throw goosegogs at unsuspecting cars. It was only a matter of time before a car stopped…all four of us grandkids sprinted into the house and hid. A large gent knocked on the door asking Grandma for the children that were there. Grandma confidently stated that there were no children in this house and that was the end of it. A Mum would never have done that….only a Grandma!
Whilst being as blind a bat for many years, she survived by knowing every inch of her stone cottage and where everything was. She was blind long before we ever knew she was…and it was only in later years that I noticed her feeling in drawers and touching objects as she passed them.
Grandma was barely 4ft and definitely seemed to get smaller with age but she was fast and walked everywhere with determination. I get that from her….always double busy…only stopping for Emmerdale and the 9 O Clock News!!
Grandparent photography sessions – photographing the generations
Do you remember Monty Python’s ‘The meaning of Life’ and that character…the mum giving birth at the kitchen sink whilst washing dishes. She carries on simply saying ‘get that will you dear’. So..Mary didn’t have 10 kids but she like many of that generation just got on with it as she did when my grandad died 18 years earlier…she just kept on going. She was a strong woman, phased by nothing. I never saw her upset or lose her temper and she kept going strong until dementia eventually stopped her.
I loved looking at her old photo albums with photos of long-past family members, sitting on old-fashioned hay bales, with old-fashioned names. It was on one such day that I was looking through the album and inside one of the photo pockets was a torn-off bit of paper, a handwritten note….’Something is going wrong with me. It still breaks me to think about it. She knew something was wrong, she didn’t know what…but there was something. And that was that… Dementia was her life.. long before we knew it was there…she’d talk lots about her weekly trip to Hexham long before we’d found out that she hadn’t been to Hexham in Months.
‘I have very few photos…just memories.. but ever more distant now’
Grandma never got to meet my boy and I miss her, for a little woman..she had a huge presence. Everyone should have Grandma Mary in their lives. A positive role model from a simpler generation who knew real hardship, graft and such a different life from our own stuff-filled life.
And now I look at the new grandparents in my life….my mum and dad with the boy. I find myself appreciating them more and more and wanting to hold on tighter. Dad is now, ‘top of the tree’…his exact words used at Grandma’s funeral..it’s a reminder..a reminder that they won’t be here forever.
‘The new Grandparents in my life’
So I want to hold onto those lovely memories, how they are…and how they are with my boy. How my Dad slowly wanders around hands folded behind his back, reviewing, inspecting. How when we moved into our new house..how he did a steely knock on every wall in the house…it’s a Dad thing!!
Dad likes to be useful and gets stuck, whether it’s scouring the car boot sales for useful tools to servicing the boy’s bike. It’s how he immediately takes charge of the fire upon arrival at my home and always ensures an endless supply of chopped kindling. How he gets the boy off the IPAD to play football or cricket in the garden (telling him often that it’s the sport of kings). It’s how he still tries to tickle the boy who at 8 now quickly returns the favour so that my Dad is immediately incapacitated.
And my mum…ah my mum…how she’s brilliant at making up stories which hold my boy’s attention as nothing else can. How she’s imparted knowledge through nature walks, fishing for minnows and taking him to see the Ospreys at Kielder. If I could capture pictures and sounds of their relationship – this would be it.
‘Capturing memories’
It’s so sad that I don’t have many photos, videos or audio of my own grandparents to help me reminisce and share with my boy. I must capture some precious moments of my parents with him, something magical for him to have..to remember in later years.
So whilst I’m still fannying around scheduling my own session with Claire (it’s Emma here btw! – should’ve said). Perhaps this post has struck a cord and you’re ready to capture it all: pictures, voices and the sounds of your life. Capture it for your kids because as much as they won’t be this age forever, the reality is… that your Mum and Dad won’t be here forever either.
In the meantime, check out this post: At Grandma’s House for some Generational Photography inspiration from a generational family shoot in Northumberland.
So whoever the ‘grandparents’ are in your life, if you want to capture these memories for your family just get in touch.
